Deconstructed Figure

Happy New Year

Summer in the Southern Hemisphere means homage to Brett Whiteley's beach motif

Tis the Season to be Drawing...

Can You Help Me?

Bears in Custody...

Inspired by this.

The Notebook

I've been finding some rhythm with the keeping of the notebook, or visual diary as its called in Art School. I always struggled to keep a visual diary, as every time I opened it, I found the blankness of the page daunting. The blankness of my mind even scarier. Now, occasionally, I catch the ideas before they drift off into the fog. I have learned how to use one, mostly through years of trying and failing. Giving up. Starting again.

Having a visual diary, is incredibly helpful as it is the capturing of ideas rather than the refining of them that is important. I was told this often. I had only ever understood it as a restriction and a chore until recently.

These two are drawn from memory from real life.

Cubist Guitar Guy

Guitar guy is popping up in the notebook again.. Hes a cubist this time.

Last minute scratching...

joined at the head

Study of everyman in his pajamas

out of proportion

Sometimes when you look into the eyes of a patient, you look into the eyes of your own questions, fears and existential anxieties. They all lie underneath what you see, swimming in the looks up at the ceiling as you wheel them under the cold lights, or staring into the floor as if it were a pool for them to look into...when you look at them, you are often looking at yourself

Old Face

Man by the Window

another drawing done during my lunch break today.

Out the Bathroom window

I started taking my visual diary to work now, and drawing in my down time or on lunch breaks. I see things all the time that inspire me. I always wanted to be one of those people who carried a notebook, or sketch book everywhere, but it seemed somehow false or pretentious. I always feel like a knob drawing in public. Now it seems I am literally inhabiting the Harvey Pikar cliche. (only without the success) scribbling away in some filthy cupboard, with the mop buckets and the smell of soiled linen filling my nostrils:) Feels strangely snug, despite the cliche.

Suffering and Faith

The twins

Morning...

The battle between spontaneity and intention continues...

Trusting the line

Alot of the time I agonize over my images and drawings. Never satisfied, I put alot of pressure on myself and I think this often strangles the vitality out of anything I do. An idea that begins to germinate is often ruined by these expectations. I start a drawing and often try to "fix" things I know arent right. This mostly leads to a busy strangled mess. Trusting the line, not knowing exactly where it will lead (maybe nowhere?) or what it will produce is something I have been attempting the last couple of days, by drawing with pen, straight from life. Which I do from time but not nearly enough. Its a good discipline. Learning to trust your line is important, I feel, if drawing is to become more fluid.

Some sketches from the last couple of days

A character Ive been developing named "Edgar."

The Stair well.

Pieces of the puzzle

The Suburban Monk

Impatient with the process as always. I want results. I want them now. Perhaps I will never make drawings that form some kind of well plotted structure that lead to conclusions. This I find quite frustrating. Like chasing a mirage. When ever I get to where I think I need to be, it turns out Ive still got some way to go.

A page from Notebook

One of todays pages from my notebook, in two halves to fit it all into the scanner bed. I spent pretty much all day, battling low motivation and the old, "its useless, why bother" voices. But I found my groove somewhere in there I think. The thing Ive found with drawing is that it takes patience. Not just with a particular idea, or the gestation of ideas, ( that in itself is perhaps the hardest part for me) but an over arching direction that is not really noticed. It really is a life long process. Which I guess, might have something to do with vocation. And vocation is often also something one commits to as a patient transformative process over ones life time.