Death

"The unending paradox is that we do learn through pain." - Madeleine L'Engle

This one is a little confronting. I dont know where it came from. I just started drawing a reclining figure this afternoon and this is where it led me. I was thinking of the human figure in its most unsanitised state. Our society is so very good at sanitising the human figure. We are so often shielded from it at it's most vulnerable and ugly. When it suffers.

Ive known quite a few people that lost a loved one to a terminal illness. But as yet, I havent had to face it myself. Perhaps its presumptuous of me to try and portray something I have no personal experience of?

Servant Song

Ive been using oil pastels on and off for quite a few years. I love the texture they create. I also love being able to grind the colour onto the page, and the way they blend for me. I find that it is a medium that suits my motifs, style and influences.

Alot of what I paint and draw is about alienation, loneliness and sadness. What we would call diseases of the modern world. I used to think that this was something that needed to be eradicated from my life and art. At the very least, I needed to choose subjects that reflected something positive and uplifting. And, this I did... for a while.

Ive been studying the servant songs in the book of Isaiah lately. And I am feeling drawn to study them in greater depth and detail. I read somwhere once that the book of Isaiah is sometimes called the fifth Gospel. And reading those servant songs, you can certainly appreciate why early Christians coming out of the Jewish tradition would have seen it as such. It also, seems to be quite comfortable in confronting the aspects of being human that are most painful.

The servant grew up before God - A scrawny seedling
A scrubby plant in a parched field.
There was nothing attractive about him,
Nothing to cause us to take a second look
He was looked down on and passed over,
a man who suffered, who knew pain first hand

New old stuff

Theres still been plenty of drawing going on, and even some reasonably productive painting. But the last week or two have been dry in a drawing sense. I wish I could map out the weather patterns a little better. Maybe its a case of just not panicking in the dry times. But as we here in Australia know well at the moment, drought is a scary thing.

Anyway, this one is pretty old now, but I've wanted to post it for no other reason than I like it.


I saw a great documentary about on of my favourite artists, Chris O'Doherty. ( most people know him as Reg Mombassa; the guitarist of Mental as Anything, and the designer of Mambo street wear) In this documentary, he said that he never painted women, coz he could never do them justice. That was something of a revelation for me. I think I should stop trying..

This is something else I have wanted to post for a while..


yes, its the relationship motif..after I watched the movie of the mexican Artist, Frida Kahlo. ( that maybe the wrong spelling of her name) The portrayal of her relationship with her husband, and her journey as an artist, was pretty awe inspiring. These things do tend to be romanticised abit though, dont they?

Gotta go.. I think I see the dark clouds of the drawing rains coming on the horizon..

The Communion Table

Two views of the same drawing coz I couldnt fit the whole thing complete in the scanner bed. I had to trim it down as it is. And I kind of like the enclosed, claustrophobic quality it gives to the picture.


Personally, Im partial to the one with the bread in it. The inspiration came from the idea of communion. I have been taking communion (almost) every day. I like the idea of communion as something done in very ordinary, spartan, perhaps poor settings. Call me romantic, but I reckon thats where it belongs. I also had in mind this etching by Picasso.

Greed

Are you Ready?

Self Portrait as starving artist

Apparently Vincent Van Gogh did alot of self portraits..

"Taking Christianity to what he saw as its logical conclusion, Vincent opted to live like those he preached to, sharing their hardships to the extent of sleeping on straw in a small hut at the back of the baker's house where he was billeted;^[13] the baker's wife used to hear Vincent sobbing all night in the little hut.^[14] "

T Shirt Designs

Im working on a T shirt design this weekend. Ive joined the ranks of the do it yourself Identity.

Discovered this interesting concept called mailmeart, through one of the illustration blogs I frequent, yet am unable to reference due to my lack of organisational skill.

Also discovered a great site called Drawn and Quarterly where I stumbled on Chester Brown. This site has some awsome illustrators and cartoonists which I have spent a number of hours perusing.

And to complete the link list, an informative and very helpful tutorial at Danidraws on getting some life into your skintones.

Some sketches from the last couple of days

A character Ive been developing named "Edgar."

The Stair well.

Pieces of the puzzle

The Suburban Monk

Impatient with the process as always. I want results. I want them now. Perhaps I will never make drawings that form some kind of well plotted structure that lead to conclusions. This I find quite frustrating. Like chasing a mirage. When ever I get to where I think I need to be, it turns out Ive still got some way to go.

Snowball

The Skier

Something simple and fun. I dont usually use colour coz I tend to over work things and take them too far. So I am often timid with the use of colour. But here, I think it works.

A page from Notebook

One of todays pages from my notebook, in two halves to fit it all into the scanner bed. I spent pretty much all day, battling low motivation and the old, "its useless, why bother" voices. But I found my groove somewhere in there I think. The thing Ive found with drawing is that it takes patience. Not just with a particular idea, or the gestation of ideas, ( that in itself is perhaps the hardest part for me) but an over arching direction that is not really noticed. It really is a life long process. Which I guess, might have something to do with vocation. And vocation is often also something one commits to as a patient transformative process over ones life time.

Published!

One of the cartoons that I submitted to Greekartoon was published today.

See it here.

I feel like a father showing everyone pictures of my new born son.

There's a pretty cool post today( not one of mine) at another cartooning blog where I had something small published. ( sorry for blowing the horn again) Left toon lane is a leftist political satire blog in North America.

See it here.

Update on previous drawing and some good finds

Updated drawing of Power poles. Not really happy with the result. Dont even know why Im posting it. Boredom I spose. This on the other hand I was very happy to discover.

Pencil Sketch of Bridge

Immediacy seems to work sometimes. Although not perfect, it retains something fresh that I often lose when I try to push things forward. I get alot of anxiety when I try to push things forward to some supposed completed ideal. I begin to fear making mistakes. I fear losing it. And in the fearing, I lose it. What ever "it" is. Something Ive been trying to implement lately ( in between blackouts) is just the discipline of continuing. Keep drawing. Keep exploring ( limitied though it is) and pushing my idea range. Just keep trying.

Power poles

Another brief coloured sketch of some power poles. Horizons are often burnt in life.

Black Tea

The desire to draw is usually absent in the lead up to a depressive episode. Its absence is accompanied by a vague, but pervading sense of anxiety about its absence. As if I am fearful that the desire might not return. It also induces frustration. I become frantic in the search for some meaningful inspiration. Despondent about all my previous attempts. A sense of futility starts to creep. And before you know it, Ive been dumped by a ten footer and Im washed up on the beach.

Wings

If I had the wings of a dove, I would fly away and be at rest.

Vincent had a dream. His dream was to start an artists colony in Arles. It, just like his dream of being a missionary and pastor, was never to be realised. He shot himself in the gut in a field and died a couple of days later.

Sometimes I wonder if the legend has outstripped the reality of Vincent. Never the less, there are facts about his life that fed the legend. Ive heard reports that he only ever sold one painting. Others say that he was quite successful in his life time. Still, the picture we are left with is one of something truly beautiful being born out of great tragedy and desolation.

Moods

Brief sketch of a truck I saw on the freeway. I was more interested in the symetry of the lines created by the light poles. I am obsessed with streets and light poles. I have been taking a few notes here and there. Mostly ideas for cartoons. But I have had little motivation to do any serious drawing. It ebbs and flows with my inner dialogues and subsequent moods. Every where I go, I only notice colours, patterns, shapes, contrasts, compositions. They never translate into anything good. I notice the bottoming out of my mood in a half assed effort like this, followed by a flurry of intense activity.

Autumn